Awkward Moments In Morocco

A.M.I.M
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Looks like Lipstick:

 

Explaining what tampons are, in broken Arabic and gestures. AMIM

Paying for another mans’ sin:

When we have to pay for these guys’ bottle of wine, because they don’t want to commit the sin of buying the booze, as Muslims in an Islamic country.
It got awkaward, and then dangerous, when they started downing the wine, in the car, whilst driving 120km, on the way home.

It was also awkward when we had a muffled yet angry debate outside the liqour section when Aziz told us we had to take off our headscarfs whilst the buddy insisted on us just marching in. I felt like I did when I was 16 trying to by tiquilla or something. The vailled women stopped their shopping to give us death stares. AMIM

What comes in, must go out:

The first day when we were awake all night desperate for the loo and had to demand from Aziz in the morning the REAL explanation of toilet etiquette and where to shit, and where it goes and what to wipe with and how to flush. AMIM

Praise:

Kay is showing her parents the view from the roof over skype. She whirls around computer in arms, raised. Rashida the neighbour stares; these people are obviously religious computer worshiper creeps. AMIM

Exposed:

It’s a very hot day, anrie is wearing her wife beater. Lying down on the couch laughing at the coputer screen. Aziz walks in and discusses plans, and leaves. Turns out her whole bra is sticking out of her top. AMIM

Kay loves you bye:

Kay is talking to Rosa’s friend on skype. 1 hour later and the conversation needs to be over. K,lovya,bye says kay. Awkwardly my friend repeats: “Kay loves you Bye…?”
Creeper. AMIM

Shukran:

Rashida, the neighbour has been in the kitchen. The south Africans are in their disgustingly messy bedroom, chillin’. Rashida walks in carrying a bowl of icing: in an awkward flurry of responses to having a visitor in their messy room, Rosa runs for a shawl, Anrie is moving the shoes out of the way, and kay gladly accepts the bowl that Rashida has been working on with big smile and ‘Shukran’.(thankyou) Turns out she’s only coming to say bye and probably now thinks we’re so weird that she wont come back. AMIM

Third time lucky:

Well whattta you know; turns out she did come back. Today she comes by to visit many times and keeps popping in to see what we’re doing. We’re on skype. She watches for a while and as we’re about to call Lil to introduce her, she has to go. When she returns we’re talking to lil again, and again we summons her to see the screen. It is too dark but when lil goes to find light, the internet cuts out. She leaves one more time. We go and sit on the roof to continue our skype-sess, the video off for speech clarity. Eventually Rashida returns from her roof, and we call her to come see this time, now you can meet my twin. We ask her to turn on her video and the picture flickers on…  Lily is sensually lifting her shirt to show us the injection mark on her stomach… Laughing hysterically and awkwardly we try to tell lily to show her face and put her shirt down…which she probably does but the screen happened to freeze. For a good 3 minutes Rashida, adored in headscarf and modest skirt stares at me turning red shouting at the extreme close up of lily’s belly and positioned hand. AMIM

Salaam:

People are coming past the door, Anrie puts her head out just above the floor and says, in her strong accent “Salaam”. The kid had never been as freaked out. AMIM

When prophesies come knocking

Aziz spent a good 10mins teaching me to answer the door. I ask who it is alright but then I fidget with the door for 7minutes, laughing embarrassedly and banging the looks whilst the beautiful Mohammed stands awkwardly on the other end awaiting the end of my flustered reign.  AMIM

Café for the Soul?:

Our host tells me to put down baby Fati so I can eat. For the first time I cheekily decline, and say I’ll hold her instead. Soon there is coffee down my lap, and all over the newly washed carpet. AMIM

Wish that was all:

Miriam has left, we’re trying to charm Aziz’s mom. She has baked bread on the fire in the morning, and made us a delicious tea and lunch. However, the awkward communication attempts were stifled somewhat when Kay spills all her coffee on the fresh bread. AMIM

The Other Side:

Kid knocks on the door. When we ask who it is and figure out how to open it, the poor boy looking for our Host he sees 3 grinning white girls, and one’s bare chest from the low tank top that I forgot I was resting in. We rate it was probably more than he could cope with considering he ran to the other side of the road without a moment’s hesitation and refused to come any closer again. AMIM

Yes. Yes. Yeees. You understand? Yes.

When after 8 days of living with his family, we finally discover that every time our Host says “yeees” it actually means he doesn’t know what we’re saying because we’re talking too fast… AMIM

Leave your message after the Bleep:

When we give Anrie’s number to a waiter (who gives it to his friends) and proudly tell Aziz to see his reaction. Turns out “the worst thing you can do is give out your number, they track you down, like people from Israel or Iran, and they are out to get the tourists, the police track the number, they start with saying how you’re lovely or how beautiful you are you must never give out your number…” Also, it’s actually his brother’s number that we’re using. Things got pretty awkward after that. AMIM